In the midst of the current situation, I would like to believe that there is still some good left in people; and that not everyone has a special agenda of their own and is willing to stab people in the back in order to get ahead. I learned long ago that by having eyes in the back of your head, you would realize how much one means to people, and that no matter who it is, family, so-called friends, co-workers, and even those from the religious community, will if given a chance, fuck you over.

This current situation I am in, requires that I take risks, and that no matter how much suspicion, doubt, or reluctance exists, I remain calm and keep driving. How can I, if having survived many years practicing the art of removing the concept of trust in my life, expect others to trust me? I do not, yet it seems that this minor detail will entail a great deal of mis-perspective, and unleash a chain of events that in later years manifest itself in great disappointment and a complete waste of time.

Trust is something many take for granted, and others give in abundance without concern for consequence, yet there must be some balance as to how much and where this trust is placed. I am still adamant about this whole trust concept, as I believe it to be an illusion, a mask, and a form of control, yet I feel that there must be a balance to where it is no longer trust, but something else, defined similarly, but will not destroy you when it is violated.

Until then, I continue to play my odds and hopefully one day I will have the answer.